I think you chose poorly. I think you should have picked me. I was always there, waiting... and you abandoned what we could have had. You burned the memories, shunned the present, and destroyed the future. All of it, murdered by your sharp tongue and quick fingers. The pain and sorrow was all inflicted by you.
Maybe if I had worn my pretty blue dresses or sang openly for you. Would you have stayed then? If I had written a million stories for you, would you be at my side? Every tale could detail the love we shared, instead of the friendship we lost. Every pitch perfect note, an aria written in your name. Perhaps, had I only invited you over that night.... or if I had stolen those kisses?
Maybe, just maybe, if I had let you hold me, if I had agreed to steal away in the night? Would everything be alright then? Would I still get to see you? Look into your eyes, hear your nervous chuckle, feel your breath... Would we still be friends, then?
I never asked you to be mine. I never told you to change who you were. I never begged you to stay... but, what if I had? Would you? Would you have stayed for me?
Things changed so very quickly, I didn't even have the chance to blink. We grew up and you forsook all that I was. You lied, cheated, and betrayed me. I forgave you for that, by the way. I never held it against you, but I couldn't go there. It wasn't because I hated you. It wasn't because I stopped caring. It was because I loved you and I cared too much. I couldn't see you give your soul to another. I didn't want to play a fool anymore. I was scared to bear witness to a beautiful end. I wanted nothing more but for you to be happy, so I stayed away. I'm sorry if I hurt you.
You were my everything. My reason for being. I found solace. I thought, with years and another, I would forget, but I haven't. I wonder now if I ever will. Will I be eternally plagued with these memories? Are you? Do you look back or is that the curse of someone like me? Truthfully, I wish I could taste the fruit to forget. I wish nothing more, now, than to be rid of the emptiness I feel when I remember you; hear your name, see your face...
A fairytale ending is not what the universe had in store for us.
