Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
~Robert Frost
Men of fire, burn with desire
Men of ice, are nothing nice.
You are cold, hard, and blue
I prefer a man of a more ember hue.
Enjoy the loss you cheap tease
because I'm fairly easy to please.
Words that are empty only go so far
They will leave wounds that heal and scar.
Remember this, you arrogant prick
I am the iciest, flame-ridden chick.
~Jessica Tracy
Friday, March 19, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Insanity
I'm writing to vent. I'm livid. Today started out pretty damn rotten!
I woke up and readied myself, as I would do on any other weekday. Being a Tuesday, I knew I would have three classes: Math, French, and Aerobics. After class, today, I was going to bathe and prepare myself for a job interview.
Needless to say, none of that is important. What *is* pertinent for this blog is how pitiful I feel. 30 minutes before Math, like any other day, I went out to the car and started it... Alas, the POJ did not start, did not turn over, did nothing. I turned the key again, thinking perhaps I just didn't turn it far enough. Silence.
Horror crept itself over me, as I realized the car was not starting. I turned the key again and again, violently. Still, no amiable outcome.
I threw my head back, inhaled deeply, and snapped my eyes shut: tightly. For a moment, I focused all of my thoughts on my eyelids, and used my years of anger training to fight back the boiling seething scream as it inched towards my throat. No, I did not scream. I did not cuss. I just focused on breathing, like a normal human being.
In the end, I stomped back into the house and fought the angry tears back. Eventually, I vented to a few people...
I did not go to class. I would not have gone to my interview, but Ian is saving me. I do not know how I will go to class tomorrow... or work, if I get the job. I feel trapped and unhappy.
Anyway, that is all.
I woke up and readied myself, as I would do on any other weekday. Being a Tuesday, I knew I would have three classes: Math, French, and Aerobics. After class, today, I was going to bathe and prepare myself for a job interview.
Needless to say, none of that is important. What *is* pertinent for this blog is how pitiful I feel. 30 minutes before Math, like any other day, I went out to the car and started it... Alas, the POJ did not start, did not turn over, did nothing. I turned the key again, thinking perhaps I just didn't turn it far enough. Silence.
Horror crept itself over me, as I realized the car was not starting. I turned the key again and again, violently. Still, no amiable outcome.
I threw my head back, inhaled deeply, and snapped my eyes shut: tightly. For a moment, I focused all of my thoughts on my eyelids, and used my years of anger training to fight back the boiling seething scream as it inched towards my throat. No, I did not scream. I did not cuss. I just focused on breathing, like a normal human being.
In the end, I stomped back into the house and fought the angry tears back. Eventually, I vented to a few people...
I did not go to class. I would not have gone to my interview, but Ian is saving me. I do not know how I will go to class tomorrow... or work, if I get the job. I feel trapped and unhappy.
Anyway, that is all.
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