Cupid's Joke

I guess I'm a little bit bitter about Valentine's Day... Even though I'm in a relationship and have been for the passed few V. Days, it never seems to strike a good chord in my heart. Cupid never hits me with an arrow of love or something...

I have few memorable February 14ths and most of them are depressing. My first memory was when my mother gave my sister and me a beta fish. This is probably my favorite Valentine's Day ever and I will hopefully never forget how wonderful it was. My second is the year a friend of mine got many carnations for V day and I got none... She plucked a petal from her carnation and gave it to me... the sentiment was sweet, but it was a depressing reminder I didn't have any secret admirers or friends who liked me enough to spend $3.00 on me. That same year, I sent a pink carnation to the boy I liked and watched him toss it in the trashcan... Thank God I didn't put my name on it!

The last Valentine's Day I can remember vividly was the first V Day I spent with my horrid ex, Matt. He had me close my eyes the Christmas before, got down on one knee and procured a velvet box which contained cheap gold earrings with fake rubies in them... How sweet. >_> The following Valentine's Day I spent sitting on his bed watching him play WoW, eating chocolates I bought. He gave me two wine toppers, knowing very well I didn't drink alcohol and swore I never would.

So, needless to say, even though I'm in a relationship, I never put ANY stock into V Day and I never expect anything... because anytime I ever hoped my hopes were always crushed, anytime I ever expected, my expectations were dashed. I will never like Valentine's Day and my heart goes out to all of the adolescent girls and boys who are destroyed year after year by their various crushes. I know for most of you this time is just a painful phase and will pass... and I also know, from witnessing obsessive adults sob over their lack of a love life on this day, for the rest of you this day will only get harder and harder as you get older. I wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day and hope you know there is someone out there who loves you, even if you don't know who they are.

Himo Nailo

Why do you always do this to me? Just when I begin to think I can go on without you, you come creeping back into my life like a poison, reminding me how much I miss you and wish things had turned differently. Why can't you just leave me alone? Why do you always do this?!

Sanctuary

Sanctuary

It wasn't just a home,
it was rehabilitation
from those horrid years
filled with torment and humiliation.
It wasn't just a roof,
it was a shelter
pulling us from the mud
and helping us feel better.
I know this poem is full of weak rhymes,
completely not in synced
and failing in time.
I just wanted you to know...
what you did in your part,
you not only raped our sanctuary
but you broke our heart.

Pray for sight

What if instead of asking God to cure all or to bring back what is lost... you, instead, ask him to give you strength to accept what he has done and give you sight so you can understand what he has in store for you?